Here’s How It Really Feels to Own an Entire Bitcoin

Hint: it’s awful.

Jessica Wildfire
Level Up Coding
Published in
6 min readFeb 22, 2021

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Photo by Tech Daily on Unsplash

At first I was afraid — I was petrified. I kept thinking how easy it was to transfer tens of thousands of dollars into an app, to buy something I’d never be able to see or touch, because it only existed in shard imagination. I’d basically used money to buy different money.

Then came the endorphins. I was hooked.

Here’s why:

I was tired of being responsible with my money.

Let’s face it, our culture rewards gamblers. It doesn’t reward talented people who work hard and save their money, not anymore.

People like me are punished and ridiculed. Wall Street pricks laugh at us, because they know we’re always there to bail them out when they get into trouble. They have all kinds of fun playing with other people’s money, and they hardly ever face the consequences. I was tired of it.

So, that’s why I bought a bitcoin. I was sick of being on the responsible, losing side of things. I wanted to know what it felt like to be a reckless, selfish jerk — if only for a couple of weeks. I wanted to know the thrill of gigantic, overnight gains. I wanted to feel like, for once, I wasn’t missing out on a huge opportunity. It was my turn to play with money.

It was fun, but it was also awful.

I’ll explain.

Owning a bitcoin felt great at first.

Bitcoin went on an aggressive bull run after my purchase. It made me feel smart, even invincible. I was very pleased with myself. I daydreamed about having drinks with Elon Musk and Cathie Wood.

I checked my phone every ten minutes. Every single time, the numbers were up. My future started to glimmer with possibilities. Maybe I would be able to survive the oncoming tide of inflation. Or buy a slightly bigger home. Or pay for my kid’s college education without selling plasma.

Maybe we would be okay.

Bad news didn’t bother me quite as much. Sure, prices are rising. Climate change is making regions of the world uninhabitable. But bitcoin felt like a shield. Everyone said it would go up in value, flying to the moon…

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